Getting a divorce is not an easy decision to take. It’s not surprising that most people agonize over it for months before they take the needed step. This is a time filled with uncertainty and doubt. You always wonder if you’re selfish, if you’re breaking up the family because of an imagined problem.
Experiencing such doubts is common but you need to do what’s right for you. If divorce is your only option, it’s a good idea to go ahead with it. An uneasy relationship between a couple can spread discord in the family. Here’s how to judge whether you’re right in thinking of divorce:
Give yourself some credit
A person in a healthy, happy marriage doesn’t constantly think of divorce. They don’t stay up at night, wondering about it, worrying about the state of their marriage, and feeling out-of-sorts. If you experience this unease, it’s because you realize that there’s something wrong. Give yourself some credit and instead of dismissing the thought off the bat, think about it. You need to find out why you’re unhappy.
Open a Discussion
After you know why you’re unhappy, it’s time to discuss things with your spouse. You shouldn’t be afraid to rock the boat. A frank discussion might just be what you need to save you marriage. You need to lay all your cards on the table and let your spouse know what you think is wrong with your marriage.
It’s very important to emphasize on how serious you are. Some spouses won’t take a threat of divorce seriously but you need to be firm in your position. You need to discuss ways to salvage your marriage. You also need to stay away from the blame game because in most cases, both individuals are at fault.
See if both of you are willing to seek out professional help from a marriage counselor or speak with a clergy. If you spouse is unwilling, seek help alone. Your judgment is influenced by your emotions and a clergy or a marriage counselor will give you a different perspective on the matter. They have no personal interest here and aren’t biased towards you or your spouse.
Make a Decision
Realize that a successful marriage requires the contribution of two people. If you’re putting in all the effort to salvage your relationship, perhaps you’re better off without it. It’s a good idea to simply move on and get a divorce. You need to make that decision and take that step. The more you delay, the longer you’ll be unhappy.