Divorce is never easy- least of all on your children. They are torn between both parents and ride an emotional rollercoaster of sorts when their parents get separated. The one way to smoothen the edges is to ensure that you collaborate with each other and make the entire process a more positive one.
Here are a few tips that can help you work together to make visitation successful and keep your divorce from having any negative, long-lasting effects on your children.
- Stay Positive– Be in good spirits when you are discussing an upcoming visit. All the unpleasant feelings you harbor towards your ex, shouldn’t overshadow your plans. Make an effort to know a little more about how your child is going to spend his/her time with the other parent.
- Be prompt- When you make it a point to be there on time for the visit, it helps reinforce the fact that you too value these visits. It’s important that you make your child feel important and show her that she is your priority. Even during the visit, make sure that you defer checking and replying to emails and text messages and make every effort to spend quality time with your child.
- No arguing– When you argue with your spouse in front of your children, it stresses them out and upsets them; you can deal with your differences at another time and not in the presence of your children.
- Calendar– Create a calendar for your children – mark the days – vacation visits, weekday dinners as well as overnighters. This will help add some semblance of predictability to a potentially confusing schedule and you will find it much easier to manage and discuss it with young children.
- Individuality Matters- If your little one decides that he just wants to wear a jacket that clashes completely with the rest of his attire – give him the scope to get creative and respect his choice. Creating a power struggle won’t help either you or him. The objective is to let your child feel welcome, cared for, comfortable and valued.
- Allow phone calls- Some parents make the mistake of forbidding their child to make phone calls to the other parent, during a visit. Do not put such restrictions on your child. She should feel comfortable calling your ex to say goodnight etc
Always keep in mind that divorce can be a very difficult time for your child and the only way you can ease the path for heris to work together as a team and co-parent her in a better way.