Understandably, you may not start dating after divorce trauma for a while. Even when you and your former spouse were on the same page and sought an online divorce in New York, feelings of grief are normal while you adjust to your new life.

Still, in time, you may find that you’re ready to wade back into the dating pool. The following tips can help you do so confidently.

How To Start Dating After Divorce: Four Considerations

There’s no perfect amount of time to wait before you start dating after divorce. The post-divorce journey depends on your experience, how you feel about romantic relationships, and how much healing you need to do. Whenever you’re ready, keep these points in mind: 

#1 Wait Until The Court Finalizes Your Divorce 

For many reasons, you should wait until the court finalizes the end of your marriage before seeing other people. 

Dating while your divorce is pending can complicate the legal proceedings. It can also spark strong emotions, especially for your children and former partner. Sometimes, extra emotions make the process more challenging for everyone.

#2 Take Enough Time To Process Your Divorce First 

It’s impossible to start a new, healthy relationship while grieving an old one. 

Processing the end of your marriage before declaring yourself ready to date could mean getting therapy or joining a support group. It could also mean spending time alone with your feelings to reach a point of acceptance.

#3 Know What You Want So That Your Divorce Doesn’t Dictate Things

Before making yourself available, consider what you want from a romantic partner. Where are you unwilling to compromise? Acknowledging these qualities and your red flags will help you make better decisions, including avoiding toxic or dead-end relationships. 

Clarify your feelings about relationships in general and be upfront about your disappointment or heartbreak. Are you looking for long-term relationships? Would you prefer to remain single for a while?

#4 Take Things Slow After The Divorce Settles Down

After a divorce, you may experience some big, unexpected emotions. Navigating life with someone new needs patience. Give yourself time and the grace to deal with the upheaval.

If you have children, you may also need to ease into introducing dates to them. One of the best tips for divorcing parents is to take your children’s feelings and mental well-being into account and introduce any new partner only when they’re ready. When the time comes to make an introduction, be intentional and cautious to ensure a smooth transition.

Get Help With Your Divorce From The Divorce Center

You may want to start dating after divorce feels like a distant memory. Being transparent about your needs can make the experience fun and exciting, especially if you haven’t rushed into anything. Are you still in the fray? For less chance of a long, contentious divorce when divorcing with kids or without, call The Divorce Center. Explore the process, including for uncontested divorces, at (800) 762-3111 (New Jersey) or (800) 414-0333 (New York).