4 Reasons Why Divorce is Not Revenge The Divorce Center Comments are off February 27, 2018

Marriage is a relationship based on love and trust. If that trust is broken and you experience partner betrayal, you feel a natural urge to take revenge. You think that filing for divorce is one way to do it, which can be a mistake. Divorce is a life-changing decision that requires careful thought and consideration. You shouldn’t take this step impulsively while being motivated by vengeance as that will only cause you more pain. Here are some reasons why divorce should never be considered revenge:

1. It’s not just about you

It isn’t easy to be level-headed and fair during a divorce. Couples suffer from feelings such as hurt and resentment. While this makes the urge to get revenge understandable, it doesn’t make it acceptable. Married couples with children often underestimate the impact divorce has on their children. The kids can become a tool in the quest for revenge which can leave deep psychological scars on their mind, that last a lifetime. Even if divorce is unavoidable, it’s essential to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse for the sake of your children

2. The satisfaction is temporary

The joy you gain from revenge divorce is temporary, but the consequences of it can last a lifetime. It doesn’t help you recover from the pain of separation and can prolong the divorce proceedings and the related agony. If you’re not focused on revenge, it can help you get through the process quickly and with a minimal amount of pain. You can trivialize the event and disassociate yourself from the pain you are feeling, which allows you to get into a healthier mindset quickly.

3. Divorce involves pain and hassle on both sides

The idea of dragging your spouse through a long, painful, and expensive divorce may seem appealing at the time. But it’s important to remember that you too will have to endure a long, acrimonious, valuable, and time-consuming divorce proceeding. It’s better to remain calm and focus on getting through the process quickly. Keep in mind that any step you take to prolong your spouse’s pain will continue yours as well. It will take longer for you to recover from the trauma of the divorce and get on with your life. A drawn-out divorce can also harm your financial stability and place your future comfort at risk.

4. Focus on protecting yourself and your children

Instead of focusing on revenge, prioritize safeguard your rights and interests and that of your children as well. Set boundaries during the divorce and make sure your former spouse doesn’t cross them. Divorce should be about getting out of a relationship that does more harm than good, and about gaining happiness and independence. If you focus on these aspects, the proceedings will run smoothly, and you will transition into a single life status without too many problems.

A healthy divorce and a happy life after separation is the best outcome of this situation. Focus on your comfort and future stability instead of revenge.