Divorce is never easy- it triggers all types on unsettling feelings and emotional pain. More than that, it disrupts your life and catapults you into unknown territory. Nothing remains the same- ranging from your routine, your self-esteem, your ability to trust any other person and of course the looming uncertainty about the future- it’s an upheaval in every possible way.
Even as you deal with all these changes, what throws you out of gear is the feeling of utter devastation that envelops you and you feel that you will never be able to move away from the way you feel and move on with your life. But there is a way- it’spossible to actually allow yourself to feel the tidal wave of emotions that threaten to engulf you and swim through the pain of all your losses.
Time to Heal
It’s the one way of relegating your old relationship to the shadows and looking forward to a happier future that is untainted by remorse and sadness. There are a number of ways in which you can allow yourself to heal:
Give yourself the scope to feel the pain
Don’t try to quell the pain. Even as you feel it, let it be expressed & released. This doesn’t mean you have to break down into tears at the smallest opportunity, but when it’s appropriate to vent this frustration and pain, do so in an unhindered manner.
Many women who go through divorce feel the need to prove to themselves that they are survivors and do their level best not to succumb to the pain. On the surface, it may seem like its working, but when it comes to working where it really matters, it doesn’t. Just let that pain rise- tackle it and let it steadily ebb.
The Grieving Process is Important
Everyone who goes through a bad phase will grieve, though the manner in which they grieve may be different – some people sob, rage or pour their feelings into a journal, while others may talk to their friends or punch their pillow. Whatever it is that works for you- just do it and you will feel a great deal better.
The logic behind this is simple- Without realizing it, you are addicted to your relationship and when that is taken away from you, the withdrawal symptoms are bound to set in, sooner or later. The only way to emerge victorious is to go through the motions offighting those withdrawal symptoms and becoming stronger.